How Parent Anxiousness Can Impact a Young Soccer Player’s Performance

At Modern Soccer Parent, we talk a lot about supporting your child through the ups and downs of the soccer journey. One of the most important (and overlooked) ways we can help them thrive? Learning to manage parent nerves. Youth soccer is emotional—for parents, too. Parents invest time, money, energy, and heart into watching kids play. So it’s natural to feel tense or anxious when things aren’t going well on the field. But here’s the truth: when parents are anxious, kids feel it—and it can have a big impact on how they perform and how they feel about the game.

1. Your Energy Transfers to Your Child

Kids are highly sensitive to a parent’s emotional state. If parents are pacing, yelling, fidgeting, or showing visible stress on the sidelines, even unintentionally, children often internalize those actions as:

“I must be doing something wrong.”
“My parents are upset with me.”
“I’m letting them down.”

That creates pressure. And pressure can lead to hesitation, poor decisions, and a lack of confidence on the field.

2. Fear of Disappointing Parents Can Outweigh the Joy of Playing

Soccer is supposed to be fun. But when players feel they’re constantly being judged—especially by the people they care about most—they can begin to fear making mistakes more than they enjoy competing. When that happens, you may see your player start to:

Avoid taking risks
Look over at you constantly during the game
Shut down emotionally after a mistake
Lose the spark they once had

If your player looks at you during the game, you should do your best to tell them to look at the coach and not to you, as if they are looking to you, it is setting back their development.

3. The Car Ride Home Matters More Than You Think

Many youth soccer players say the most stressful part of the day isn’t the game—it’s the car ride home. This is where they often get a second round of feedback or critique (even when it’s well-meaning). If your first question after the game is, “Why didn’t you shoot?” or “What was going on out there?”, your player might start to associate soccer with judgment and disappointment instead of growth and support.

4. Even Quiet Pressure Still Feels Like Pressure

Not all pressure is loud. Sometimes it’s the sigh, the folded arms, the disappointment in your face. Your player sees that, and it can affect how they feel about themselves and the game.

Here's What You Can Do Instead:

At Modern Soccer Parent, we believe the best thing you can be on game day is a calm, steady presence. Here are 5 simple ways to support your player with confidence:

✅ Cheer effort, not outcome.

Celebrate the hustle. Win or lose, point out how hard they worked and how proud you are of them.

✅ Let the coach be the coach.

Trust that your child is already getting instruction. Your job is to be the supportive parent, not the sideline strategist.

✅ Ask open, positive questions.

Instead of “Did you win?”, try:

“What did you enjoy about today’s game?”
“Is there something you felt good about out there?”

✅ Stay centered—especially when things go wrong.

Your child is watching how you respond to adversity. Stay positive and grounded when they make mistakes or lose. That builds long-term resilience.

✅ Save feedback for later (if at all).

If your child wants to talk about the game, listen more than you talk. And if you do offer suggestions, wait until they’ve had a chance to decompress and ask for your input.

Final Thought

Your child’s soccer journey is about more than wins and losses—it’s about building confidence, learning to handle challenges, and growing through sport. When you manage your nerves and lead with calm, supportive energy, you give your player the space they need to take risks, bounce back from mistakes, and fall in love with the game for the long run. You don’t have to be the perfect parent. You just have to be present, supportive, and proud—exactly the kind of teammate your child needs on this journey. ⚽ We believe that progress in youth soccer starts with listening. Share your real-world experiences, challenges, and hopes for the game by filling out one of our surveys today. Make sure you check out www.modernsoccerparent.com regularly for updates, news, and tools to help the modern soccer parent!